Thoughts

Have you ever woken up and just felt weird?...Today was that day for me, there was just something in the air that i could not put a finger on....everything just felt out of sync for me, can't tell why...hmmmm.....i know i have so many projects to accomplish and i have not even embarked on the first project...maybe that is why i feel weird?..don't know....... sometimes i feel like the biggest procrastinator on earth and it just irritates me, to see that i continue this pattern of behavior even after i had promised a million times that i would do better in that area....hmph!...anyhoos...i was thinking about naija today and was wondering what people in the diaspora (especially the U.S because that is where i live) can do to effect change and i'm talking from the grass root level. I have this burden for the little children in Nigeria who have like zero opportunities...what about them?...let me digress a little.....there is just something irritating when you meet a Nigerian abroad and they act like they don't know anything about naija, and they grew up there?...how do you grow up in a place and you claim not to know anything about the culture of the people?...c'mon...nah that ain't even right...I met this guy at a meeting his name was one of the most popular Yoruba names out there....i was so excited because i was the only other black person, so we started talking and i asked him what part of naija he was from....and this dudu boy gave me a blank stare, so i politely repeated myself thinking he may not have heard me but he told me he can't remember.....is this guy for real? i was so dissapointed that i focused on my oyinbo friends through out the night....after the meeting he came up to me and said he was from Lagos, confused i asked why he was telling me now....he said he didn't want the white people to start asking him stupid questions.....lame excuse if you ask me.....this brings me back to my heart for my people...the colonial mentality that many of us operate under is erroding our senses. So this is why i am interested in little children in nigeria to be able to reach and teach them what it is to be Nigerian and proud, also help in creating opportunities for them. I can't wait to go back home!...hurray for Nigeria (excluding the corrupt leaders ofcourse)

Free verse...THINK

Government, policies, institutions
put together to brain wash the average man
for now to seek life means to seek weallth by all means
necessary....
Lame man still lame
Blind man still Blind
searching for truth in institutions
that were never made to reveal the truth
the trap has already been set for him who seeks
wisdom, if you doubt me ask the little boy
who wanted to know who killed his father

Religion, culture, emotions
used against everyone who does not
search but follows the status quo
lame man leading blind man
blind man leading lame man
lost but yet they pretend to know
for you to know you must search
for you to see you must discern

They made you fall inlove with wealth
now all that matters is that paper
lame man perishing
Blind man Perishing
Yet they lie that they live
Beautiful ugly world...what have you created?

open up your eyes, then maybe
you will see....?
life is really not what you see
for life is in the blood and blood
is the very life you live
maybe yellow isn't yellow?
grass is not really green?
man is fallen so what do you think?

Injustice, hunger, pain, sorrow,jealousy
hatred, wars, fear, manipulation. winners,losers
anger, malice, diseases........who created all these
.....is it you?

Nneka Egbuna

Nneka.....is simply...hmmm....whats the word again? words fail me when it comes to describing this bold but shy singer, songwriter, guitarist e.t.c, i have been following her music and the truths she spews through her lyrics which is usually intertwined with soulful melodies is just captivating. There is just something about truth and authenticity that can cut across barriers of culture and other things, that is what her Music has done!....whether you are American, Nigerian(like me), British, German or whatever, you can connect with the deep human desire for truth, justice and love to reign...obviously there are a few who would hate truth to reign because they are the culprits of the lies we all live in....but i digress...I hope people support her as her album drops in the U.S which is titled concrete jungle because i will definitely cop that album .... I don't know but there is something her music does for me, it tugs at my heart to be the change instead of complaining because truth be told we are all parts of the problem existing in our world today!...As a Nigerian her music pushes me to want to help Nigeria make a change, go back home and look for areas i can affect for the better....Nneka thanks for being real and showing us what the real face of music is in our generation, instead of all these crap being promoted...bling bling, booty shaking nonsense...

2010!

wow!...it is 2010!...even though this entry is coming in rather late, i still felt a need to come in Here and appreciate God for his mercies and grace, for showing me love and strength in my weakness....i just discovered something great...i was doing my usual thinking while reading a book and the book was talking about courage and it went ahead to mention couple of people who gave themselves up and over for a good cause...i always wondered what the mind set of those men and women was or is? i always wondered if their moments of standing up for such unpopular believes, if they were scared? did they doubt ? did they wonder were God was? and i discovered that all this people shared the same thoughts as many of us....they had their moments of fear, passion, tears, love, anger, doubt....but they pushed through that fear for the greater purpose bigger than themselves. So i have redefined what courage means to me " courage is not the denial of fear and doubt or even pain but the acceptance that those feelings are normal and allowing your weakness to push you into the hands of christ, so that through his spirit that is residing in, you would do the unmiginable that is why the bible says in 2cor 12:9 "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" therefore i will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of christ may rest upon me.....So the answer to courage is the power of CHRIST! I have always wondered about those things and it is interesting to note that everything that pertains to life can be found in Christ Jesus.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Happy birthday to me!....i am really excited about my birthday, i can say i am now a woman for real. I understand things a lot better now.......and even though life is still a mystery i have learned to understand it better as i journey along. There are so many dreams yet achieved but there is peace deep within my heart. I am so grateful to God for giving me an opportunity to see another year. it is so amazing, i see his beautiful work in me, i see how every step i have taken has been monitored by him thus far. He indeed has shared my pain, weakness, joys, lonliness, excitement, paranoia, laughter, love lost and love found....wow i have lived a good 25years on the earth!....amazing. I hope by this time next year it will be even more amazing...Thank you lord.

What is true freedom?

I listened to a beautiful girl today describe what success is to her " success is getting to a place where it's no longer about me but about others" she said with fire burning deep within her eyes. Her answer forced me to reach into the recess of my own heart and face the voice that has whispered within my heart for so long "what is true freedom?"....i have listened to several preachers, psychologist, revolutionaries, Musicians, activist, speak not necessarily on freedom but on relating topics like success in weight loss, hair growth, in living a perfect life, in finances and so forth, but none of them have given me a satisfactory answer, until i kept searching the Bible aka the word of God for answers and the more i dug, the more freedom had less to do with me and more to do with my basking in the love of God and allowing that love to it's overflow until it is poured out on lives around me, it has less to do with money, that big house, financial freedom, Big flashy cars or whatever success might represent for you. Life is about love and the people who discover this enjoy the greatest joys of life. Freedom is found in the forgiving blood of the son of God JESUS CHRIST, true freedom is receiving and accepting his love letting it wash over you and learning that it is not about doing for he has done it all but about receiving with arms opened wide. Life is not promised to anyone, we are here today and gone tomorrow would you tie yourself down in the dreams of others? would you live life for just you? would you live forever in bitterness?. Freedom is the journey many have embarked on but not all got to it's destination, many get to half of the way and realize there is nothing good in man and the world then they give up thinking there is no hope.....if you would open up your heart more, just a little less doubt and ask more questions, is it possible that you might meet freedom?....waiting patiently?. Is this freedom life in the everyday living sense or is it life as in not afraid to die or lose at any time because you are not guided by the worlds view of life and death, riches and poverty, success and failures... as the appostle paul said in the bible " for me to live is christ and for me to die is gain".
what would life feel like if you had no fear...would you be free?...would you believe more? love harder? give of yourself daily..... I have come to the conclusion that whatever life is without fear is freedom and it can only be found in Christ Jesus and in him crucified...

Ok...so this is like the third blog i'm starting, hopefully i get to continually use this blog site. Anyhoos, right from when i was a younster, i always said that i would be a writer for some unknown reasons, as i got older i realised that the art of writing was a mixture of creativity and learned skills which journey i never embarked on, this is my journey in a way. Basically i'm going to use this blog to improve my non existent writing skills, even though right now i don't feel like i'm much of a writer in any sense of the word, however i am of the school of thought that anything can be learned...oops... the memory of the old man i came across at one point just flashed before my very eyes. He told me he loved to dance and was taking dance classes to improve his skills as a dancer, teasing him i said "common Bob show me what you've got" o boy was that a mistake!!!!...his hands kept on flapping and flaying around for a good five minutes before i realised that perhaps he was dancing. So i guess when it comes to becoming better at anything as long as you have a passion for it....hmmmm..i guess there are a few exceptions to that rule as in the case of my good friend Bob. So hopefully my improvement in writing does not become a case of "Bob"